SΩ24 - Differences

For the last few years it seems like there are increasingly more people voicing their support for various causes and social groups. For example April is Autism awareness month and there was a protest for science. My question is when will we evolve beyond the need for that? Our differences are what help us grow as a society. If we truly learn to understand one another we’ll find that the interests we have and the challenges we face are truly universal. Here are a few stories of people you will hopefully relate to.

The AC Wizard
Like a bell the clink of his fork on the plate announced the end of his dinner. Leaving the cozy restaurant he walked with dread to what awaited him. Although the life of solitude gave him some peace the city refused to leave him alone. Each night was a struggle to find his way to dreamland. Everything from the train miles away to the creak of the stairs far below him or the flashing of lighting in the distance kept him awake. His body yearned for just a wink of sleep.

This was just an example of the challenges faced by my role model: Nikola Tesla. Many believe that he had some form of Autism, which would explain the hyper-sensitivity mentioned before and his limited social life. Yet thanks to him we have AC power, which is used worldwide to run all our lights, appliances, computers, and more.

Magic from Poverty
She looked out the window of the cafe and contemplated her predicament. Her thoughts were interrupted by a rustling sound and she looked over at her daughter sleeping blissfully in her pram. It was at that moment she realized that it was pointless to feel sorry for her penniless situation. With that in mind she attacked the pages with her pen with an intense ferocity. She owed it to her daughter to finish this book and find a way to get a decent meal on the table.

This female author went from being a single mother, unemployed and on wealth fare to a becoming the writer of the globally loved Harry Potter series. Yes indeed Joanne (JK) Rowling had struggles of her own. Furthermore, she had to hide the fact she was a woman, because publishers believed it would be less appealing to boys. Never the less it goes to show even someone with less than most can bring magic to the lives of others.

The Peace Jab
One could almost smell the frustration in the air from the two men talking. The sturdy man kept repeating ‘Shoot them for what?’ His companion nodded with approval. As their discussion continued one realized the meals they had ordered where more of an after thought. On that evening they were there to exchange their beliefs and how to show the rest of the world. In the end it was decided the sturdy man would publicly announce his Muslim beliefs on peace and refuse to be part of the mindless killing.

It might be tricky to believe that the king of boxing, Muhammad Ali, was a firm believer of peace. Especially in this day an age when many ignore the millions of Muslims who have kind and giving souls. When refusing to join the draft he showed the world how one truly stands up for humanity. 

Albeit fictional anecdotes the struggles these change makers faced were indeed real. It’s time we see our differences as strengths in building a better future. People as diverse as you overcame their struggles and offered something to the world. How will you turn your differences into gifts to the world?

SΩ13 - Think, Give, Love

‘It’s the thought that counts.’ This age-old saying suggests that an act of kindness should matter, regardless of how small or imperfect it may be. It’s definitely worth considering as we start hunting for our holiday gifts. The tradition of gift giving is rather fascinating and is one that spans both time and across cultures. There are various events that involve gift giving from birthdays, to weddings, to Ramadan, to Christmas, to Chinese New Years, to Hanukkah, and many more.

Yet the cultural and personal differences in gift giving are just as vast! Regardless of those differences, I believe it’s important to put some thought into the gifts we give. Also, to consider our reaction to receiving a gift! The idea of this gift-giving post is to spark some thought in your gift giving.

To help me with this my cousin Sarah, all the way in Australia, will give her thoughts in this Q and A style post. It's worth noting that although we are blood related, we've only met on two occasions back in 2012. Both our paths have been rather different and yet our values do tend to cross at times. Hope it'll be of use to you this holiday season!

What’s your personal interpretation of ‘gift’?
Sarah	Mario
A gift can be defined as: ‘a thing given willingly to someone, without payment’. This seems apt. A gift doesn’t require or expect reciprocity, giving is selfless. At least, it should be. Gifts can be objects, actions, words, etc., yet the core essence being an act of generosity & kindness, without desire for equitable return.	It’s usually an unspoken form of communication that conveys to someone that you are grateful for his or her presence. Although most of the times gifts are physical objects, I believe time and actions are often gifts we tend to take for granted. For example cooking a meal for someone or teaching someone a skill.

Is it better to give or receive a gift?
Sarah	Mario
I believe this depends on who is on the other side of the transaction, when both giving & receiving. Every holiday I go over my budget on gifts. I love finding things that are perfect for my friends and to a lesser extent family; but even some of my closest friends aren’t all that great to give to. A grateful recipient heightens the joy of giving! As a recipient, getting a spontaneous gift, or one that I know has been bought because the giver knew it was right for me, these are the best times! Overall though, I enjoy giving more than receiving - I have everything I need and if presents are just bought because they should be, I’d prefer to be given the cost in cash rather than accumulating more ‘things’.	This is a rather conflicting topic for me. Over time I’ve grown to appreciate mutual give and take. Is pure altruism even possible or realistic? Although, I prefer giving it does feel better to get a thanks and a gracious smile. It’s like a receipt for giving. Additionally, we often take human kindness as well as the time and effort people spend on our behalf for granted, myself included. After all, how much does a sincere ‘thank you’ cost? Finally, some of us will take more than they give, sometime unintentionally. Thus, I feel it’s key to balance give and take. To start off, be more aware of the give and take that occurs around us. For example if you enjoyed this post, you may like to know Sarah and myself gave at least a few hours to write it. If you wish to keep up the giving, how about sharing this post with someone?

What is your advice for getting the ‘perfect gift’?
Sarah	Mario
Follow your gut! So often I will pass a shop window, or come across something online and just know it is right! I flatter myself that I’ve gained a reputation for giving ideal gifts; I’m able to do this because I know the people I am buying for. This doesn’t simply mean knowing their likes & dislikes, it also means knowing what is important to them, knowing their values and goals/dreams. I may not be the nicest person on the planet, but I am generous and I do care that recipients of my gifts are affected by them, just as I am when I walk past the shop window…	My suggestion is to gift an experience and better yet one you can share! This works best if you listen to someone and know them. A few years ago, I invited my father (biologic father) to the Moers jazz festival. Before this I had never even listened to jazz. As the festival commenced, his jazz filled world engulfed me. In many ways it was a chance to truly be with him. I shamefully wonder if I got more out of the gift than he did. Even if you’re unable to gift an experience, I think the perfect gift should be something that adds to a person’s life based on their interests and/or personality. The key is to listen.

Do certain events, like Christmas, make you feel obligated to give gifts?
Sarah	Mario
Yes. I love Christmas, for what it means and the traditions but, if I had my way, I would be spending the day with friends and it would be that shared time which constituted a celebration, rather than the unwrapping of gifts with family. Buying gifts for people is a pleasure, but at Christmas one can feel pressured into the action. I would prefer to buy for people as I see things they would like, rather than having to find gifts at particular times of the year. However, on the flip-side, friends who do not like getting spontaneous gifts, Christmas is an excuse to give to them!	A few years ago, my ex-girlfriend randomly gave me a wallet. At the time I was rather ungrateful, since I had a wallet, albeit beat up. Only later, did I realize it’s more natural to just give whenever we feel compelled to. After all Christmas should be about spending time with loved ones, right? So just consider that while you’re out buying gifts this holiday season! Embrace the spirit of Christmas and ignore Mr. Consumerism. By the way I did switch wallets and still use it till this day. Thanks Huihui!

What is one gift you’ve received which feels like it keeps on giving?
Sarah	Mario
For my birthday, perhaps six or seven years ago a friend bought me a chess set, knowing that I didn’t play the game. He then took me to the pub after work and taught me the game. While we have less time than in the past to engage in this pursuit, it still remains one thing that is ours - playing chess at the pub. It is a game which still frustrates me, but I am glad I know how to play and one day, I will win.	This may sound bizarre, yet it’s for sure running. When I was younger my dad (step-dad) would bring me on runs. At first it was frustrating, since I could only run a fraction of what he ran. Yet over time it grew a part of me. Feeling the wind woosh past me  truly reminds me that I'm alive! Since, 2011 I’ve been struggling with different injuries. Yet a few weekends ago I had an orienteering race and the joy of running came flowing back to me. Thanks Dad!

From what Mario and I have written, I think it is clear that both of us value gifts that have been thoughtful and that we ourselves do not give frivolously. This has been an interesting exercise for me to see both our similarities and differences, especially since we've just been in touch for the last few years. This indicates that thoughts and feelings about gift giving may be quite universal. If you’ve found our writing interesting or useful, feel free to share it. Also, we’d like to hear your thoughts on gift giving!

SΩ12 - Our Global Impact

Beauty and chaos exist side by side in this world. Having children is a perfect example of this. It’s a complex balance of showing one’s child the best of the world and at the same time preparing them for all the uncertainty and hurdles to come. When parents are unable to remain together it opens an entirely different beast. Looking back on my childhood, I do feel my parents prepared me for this world.  Yet I believe they could have handled their separation differently. Reflecting back, I believe that had they dealt with it as a team and supported one another, it would have been far better for all. However, the past is the past and so I’ll focus on what came from it: my desire to help others.

I think as a child this ambition developed unconsciously, sparked by my parents’ separation. Digging through some of my previous texts, I came across a snippet I wrote at 19: “I will try my best to better society & make it livable for my children and the generations to come”. Although I have no recollection of what this piece was about, this message still rings true.

For me it seems clear that if humanity wishes to progress it must develop a collaborative environment. Although that has been clear to me for many years the way to reach this has developed over the years. During my university years, I was certain that bringing technology, like solar energy, to underprivileged countries was my calling. After university I realized that although this will help, it’d only make a tiny dent in improving societies ways.

Another realization was that the world’s inequalities, in many ways, have been created by society, especially due to trade & capitalism. Remember that we are globally connected and many of our actions have a direct/indirect impact on other people in the world. Shortly after moving to Barcelona I had a eureka moment: education was the answer! Children are key to building a truly collaborative society. What we teach our children shapes the global boundaries they perceive and follow.

 

Yet the reality is that although I believe in helping others and a collaborative society, my knowledge is limited on how to do this successfully. To educate myself, I’ve been finding ways to help others. To further this this knowledge, I created ‘The Project’. In a nutshell, I ask people to anonymously submit a problem and I try my best to provide advice/suggestions to solve it. Last month I asked 7 people to test it. Here are the 5 abridged queries I received:
  - How can I help the Syrian refugees?
  - What is the most efficient way of finding one’s calling in life?
  - What is the best way to help others?
  - How to budget if wages are fixed & living costs keep increasing?
  - Should I date, if I’m still uncertain of where I want to live?
You’ll find the detailed problems and suggestions here: The Project

My findings thus far are quite revealing. Here are my observations & follow-up questions:
  - People seem reluctant to ask for & accept help from others
     - Why do people feel they need to solve their problems alone?
     - What’s the best way to offer someone help, if you don’t know his/her problem(s)?
  - How we help people can differ from what someone needs
     - How can we improve the way we help others?
  - Helping others can feel amazing, especially if we know we’ve helped
     - How can we encourage people to provide honest feedback?
     - Why is appreciation difficult to come by?

Now I’m opening ‘The Project’ to the public! If you believe in a collaborative society, voice your ideas, feedback below in the comments. Also, if you need help with a problem, post your burning problems & queries here: The Project Form. For now, I'm accept 10 queries per month.

SΩ6 - Global Kindness: Cultural Tales II

This post includes two combined concepts. From my last post, I wanted to give examples of how to ‘nudge’ and support other people’s dreams. Also, many people liked my previous “Cultural Tales”, so figured I’d use that style.

Small gestures of kindness can be quite valuable and take a mere few minutes of effort. Every month we are awake for over 30,000 minutes. How about using a few for a gesture of kindness?

Good Samaritan of Lost Valuables

In my previous post I gave a short preview of Tokyo, Japan. Let’s start from there. There are plenty of good things to say about Japan, for now I’ll focus on Japanese culture. I believe Japanese tend to be honest and courteous people. I’d like to share one event, which I hope will convince you as well!

My first trip to Japan I visited Tokyo, Kyoto, and Nara. Now I can’t imagine traveling between these cities, without the Internet. The public transport system is effective, yet can be rather intricate and overwhelming. During a subway transfer in Kyoto, I just had enough time to buy a drink from a vending machine. After a few stops I realized my luggage was rather light. I had my backpack, but had left my other bag at the vending machine! When I returned to the previous stop, my bag was gone; the subway employees were unable to find it. Later, a Japanese friend called various stops and offices to find it. It soon became apparent; my bag was lost for good!

With only a few days left in Japan, I did my best to forget my loss and bought some replacement clothes. 

A few weeks later, I received a mysterious package with foreign writing. To my surprise, it was my bag! Everything was there and my clothes were clean and neatly folded. Seems my bag ended up at the local police station and my Japanese friend had successfully tracked it down. His wife even went the extra mile to clean the clothes and pack the bag nicely. I can only imagine all the effort my friend and his wife invested to return my bag. Alternatively, if you ever find a wallet, phone, or other valuable, it’ll likely take less than an hour to return it. Be a Good Samaritan and return it!

Befriend a Traveler

Usually, I travel solo. This lets me plan my trip the way I like and encourages me to meet new people. I tend to meet fellow travelers in hostels and spend a day or two together. What’s even more exciting, is meeting locals! Yet that’s rare, since travelers are mainly viewed as business opportunities.

My experience in Istanbul, Turkey was extraordinary. The first day, a local teenage boy approached me on the beach. First, I was skeptical…maybe he wanted to scam me!? Yet what started as skepticism ended in a pleasant walk through the city as the boy explained the history and buildings to me. Even to this day, we still stay in touch.

A day later the excitement continued! I was visiting an Island close to Istanbul. On the ferry ride there, I sat across from two teenage couples. Suddenly, one of the girls smiled at me and offered me a piece of fresh pretzel. As we got to the Island they invited me on a bike tour of the Island and lunch! I’ve probably told this experience 100 times, since it’s rare that travelers are shown such kindness. Make travelers feel welcome in your city.

 

Encourage a Friend

Have you ever hit rock bottom? This is how I felt, when I returned to Switzerland. Reality had knocked me down and I was a stranger to myself. While I sorted through the pieces of my identity, my only comfort was escaping reality to travel the world. Traveling introduced me to many amazing places and I asked myself, why was I in Switzerland?

Eventually, a mentor of mine encouraged me to move to Barcelona. This push has definitely helped me turn my life around. Before, leaving Switzerland, I had lunch with a dear friend. We had a lengthy discussion about the world and plenty more. Towards the end of lunch he said: “You should write a blog”. This was the 'nudge' I needed to get my blog rolling. Life is full of uncertainties and difficult choices, so encourage your friends towards greatness. 

Key Message

There are plenty of ways to support and help others, here are just three examples: 

“Be a Good Samaritan and return it!”

“Make travelers feel welcome in your city.”

 “Encourage your friends towards greatness.”

All pictures  © Mario Christiner 2011, except picture of Simit (Turkish Pretzil) from visualhunt.com