SΩ22 - The Breath of Giving

They strode side by side, a tall man with a scruffy elderly man. From their amiable chatter you’d guess they were close friends or perhaps relatives. In fact they just met earlier in the nearby park. The elderly man was ecstatic for the companionship and the invitation to share a warm meal. You see the park has been the elderly man’s ‘home’ for the last 4 years. As fate would have it the tall man’s evening route brought him to the park and united the two. The tall man visits this neighborhood weekly to comfort the ill-fated people congregated here from his homeland. 

For him being concerned for others is as natural as breathing.

This realistic tale was inspired by a friend’s experience with the inherently communal culture of Moroccans and Berber hospitality. Discovering this anomaly I asked myself;

How can more of us develop this natural habit of giving and supporting others?

To explore this idea further, I decided to actively grow this giving habit in myself. This November my objective was to spend a half hour to give or support someone each morning from Monday to Friday. This quickly transformed into the November Giving Challenge, which I encouraged others to take part in. In the end there were over 76 visits to the challenge page from 9 different countries. To my knowledge there were over 10 people who contributed to the challenge. This included a teacher in the US who had a 10-minute giving challenge in her classroom. Perhaps the biggest success came from participating in the periscope #AttitudeOfGratitude live event.

As this adventure is coming to an end I’ve started doing a bit of deeper reflection. From all the lessons learned I'll highlight a few of my discoveries.

• Many of us already give and support each other (i.e. knowledge on the Internet)
• There are countless ways both online and offline to support one another
• In communities with common values/interests there is a higher likelihood of giving
• We can develop a habit of giving and supporting others 

Giving Communities
What was actually inspiring to realize is that many of us already give and support each other on a daily basis. A great example of this is the knowledge we share online. Especially prominent is the support in online communities that share common interests and/or values, such as personal learning networks of educators like Edumatch or the BCN startup slack community. It would be interesting to explore how these communities can be linked together to tackle global problems?

The Giving Comfort Zone
Another big success was seeing my personal growth. The last weeks of the challenge ways to support and give often popped up naturally. I think this is because my perspective had been opened up and I was more willing to go beyond my 'comfort zone'. Many of us are more than willing to support family, friends, or people within our personal communities. This is what I mean with our 'comfort zone'. Helping strangers outside of this 'comfort zone' is a struggle. The tough reality is that those who truly need support are either far from where we live or outside that ‘comfort zone'.

You all have the power to develop the habit of giving and supporting others! The first step is realizing that we all share challenges and we must come together to deal with global challenges. Also you can become aware of those around you and listen attentively. Even starting small can be great! Going past November you all have the chance to evolve your Breath of Giving.

Links & Relevant Posts
November Giving Challenge
SΩ12 - Our Global Impact
SΩ13 - Think, Give, Love (Holiday Gift Ideas) 
 

SΩ13 - Think, Give, Love

‘It’s the thought that counts.’ This age-old saying suggests that an act of kindness should matter, regardless of how small or imperfect it may be. It’s definitely worth considering as we start hunting for our holiday gifts. The tradition of gift giving is rather fascinating and is one that spans both time and across cultures. There are various events that involve gift giving from birthdays, to weddings, to Ramadan, to Christmas, to Chinese New Years, to Hanukkah, and many more.

Yet the cultural and personal differences in gift giving are just as vast! Regardless of those differences, I believe it’s important to put some thought into the gifts we give. Also, to consider our reaction to receiving a gift! The idea of this gift-giving post is to spark some thought in your gift giving.

To help me with this my cousin Sarah, all the way in Australia, will give her thoughts in this Q and A style post. It's worth noting that although we are blood related, we've only met on two occasions back in 2012. Both our paths have been rather different and yet our values do tend to cross at times. Hope it'll be of use to you this holiday season!

What’s your personal interpretation of ‘gift’?
Sarah	Mario
A gift can be defined as: ‘a thing given willingly to someone, without payment’. This seems apt. A gift doesn’t require or expect reciprocity, giving is selfless. At least, it should be. Gifts can be objects, actions, words, etc., yet the core essence being an act of generosity & kindness, without desire for equitable return.	It’s usually an unspoken form of communication that conveys to someone that you are grateful for his or her presence. Although most of the times gifts are physical objects, I believe time and actions are often gifts we tend to take for granted. For example cooking a meal for someone or teaching someone a skill.

Is it better to give or receive a gift?
Sarah	Mario
I believe this depends on who is on the other side of the transaction, when both giving & receiving. Every holiday I go over my budget on gifts. I love finding things that are perfect for my friends and to a lesser extent family; but even some of my closest friends aren’t all that great to give to. A grateful recipient heightens the joy of giving! As a recipient, getting a spontaneous gift, or one that I know has been bought because the giver knew it was right for me, these are the best times! Overall though, I enjoy giving more than receiving - I have everything I need and if presents are just bought because they should be, I’d prefer to be given the cost in cash rather than accumulating more ‘things’.	This is a rather conflicting topic for me. Over time I’ve grown to appreciate mutual give and take. Is pure altruism even possible or realistic? Although, I prefer giving it does feel better to get a thanks and a gracious smile. It’s like a receipt for giving. Additionally, we often take human kindness as well as the time and effort people spend on our behalf for granted, myself included. After all, how much does a sincere ‘thank you’ cost? Finally, some of us will take more than they give, sometime unintentionally. Thus, I feel it’s key to balance give and take. To start off, be more aware of the give and take that occurs around us. For example if you enjoyed this post, you may like to know Sarah and myself gave at least a few hours to write it. If you wish to keep up the giving, how about sharing this post with someone?

What is your advice for getting the ‘perfect gift’?
Sarah	Mario
Follow your gut! So often I will pass a shop window, or come across something online and just know it is right! I flatter myself that I’ve gained a reputation for giving ideal gifts; I’m able to do this because I know the people I am buying for. This doesn’t simply mean knowing their likes & dislikes, it also means knowing what is important to them, knowing their values and goals/dreams. I may not be the nicest person on the planet, but I am generous and I do care that recipients of my gifts are affected by them, just as I am when I walk past the shop window…	My suggestion is to gift an experience and better yet one you can share! This works best if you listen to someone and know them. A few years ago, I invited my father (biologic father) to the Moers jazz festival. Before this I had never even listened to jazz. As the festival commenced, his jazz filled world engulfed me. In many ways it was a chance to truly be with him. I shamefully wonder if I got more out of the gift than he did. Even if you’re unable to gift an experience, I think the perfect gift should be something that adds to a person’s life based on their interests and/or personality. The key is to listen.

Do certain events, like Christmas, make you feel obligated to give gifts?
Sarah	Mario
Yes. I love Christmas, for what it means and the traditions but, if I had my way, I would be spending the day with friends and it would be that shared time which constituted a celebration, rather than the unwrapping of gifts with family. Buying gifts for people is a pleasure, but at Christmas one can feel pressured into the action. I would prefer to buy for people as I see things they would like, rather than having to find gifts at particular times of the year. However, on the flip-side, friends who do not like getting spontaneous gifts, Christmas is an excuse to give to them!	A few years ago, my ex-girlfriend randomly gave me a wallet. At the time I was rather ungrateful, since I had a wallet, albeit beat up. Only later, did I realize it’s more natural to just give whenever we feel compelled to. After all Christmas should be about spending time with loved ones, right? So just consider that while you’re out buying gifts this holiday season! Embrace the spirit of Christmas and ignore Mr. Consumerism. By the way I did switch wallets and still use it till this day. Thanks Huihui!

What is one gift you’ve received which feels like it keeps on giving?
Sarah	Mario
For my birthday, perhaps six or seven years ago a friend bought me a chess set, knowing that I didn’t play the game. He then took me to the pub after work and taught me the game. While we have less time than in the past to engage in this pursuit, it still remains one thing that is ours - playing chess at the pub. It is a game which still frustrates me, but I am glad I know how to play and one day, I will win.	This may sound bizarre, yet it’s for sure running. When I was younger my dad (step-dad) would bring me on runs. At first it was frustrating, since I could only run a fraction of what he ran. Yet over time it grew a part of me. Feeling the wind woosh past me  truly reminds me that I'm alive! Since, 2011 I’ve been struggling with different injuries. Yet a few weekends ago I had an orienteering race and the joy of running came flowing back to me. Thanks Dad!

From what Mario and I have written, I think it is clear that both of us value gifts that have been thoughtful and that we ourselves do not give frivolously. This has been an interesting exercise for me to see both our similarities and differences, especially since we've just been in touch for the last few years. This indicates that thoughts and feelings about gift giving may be quite universal. If you’ve found our writing interesting or useful, feel free to share it. Also, we’d like to hear your thoughts on gift giving!

SΩ5 - Money-Worship or 200 Dreams?

Back again, after a long break! Both my time and brain have been some what occupied. My time is mostly spent on getting my freelance lifestyle to run smoothly. My mind on the other hand is like a chaotic web of ideas and thoughts. For the most part I've been thinking about my recent interactions with other people. One question keeps reverberating in my head: “How selfish am I?”

In my opinion selfishness comes from our instinct to fulfill our basic needs. Our selfless ways most likely originates from our emotional need to feel connected with others. To me this clarifies the 'give and take' nature of society. We usually take, until our needs are met and only then are we willing to give to others. 

Considering some of my recent experiences involving 'give and take’ makes me understand the usefulness of money. For example, if I cook dinner for you and give you my old TV, what is the 'value' to you? Now consider we were friends, coworkers, or just neighbors. What if you were sick? Depending on the situation, the 'value' is completely different. Also, depending on the situation, I might be satisfied with a "thank you" or expect something more in return.

Although, both selfishness and money bother me, I'm slowly learning to accept them as part of life. This brings me to the quote I mention above, which comes from a book I can relate to and recommend. Once a person has enough wealth to support both himself/herself, what is left to do? Society propels us to believe that more wealth means being more successful at life. Why?

How about, I suggest an alternative! Measure your life's success based on how many people you help push towards their dream. If you're reading this post, you're likely in a privileged country and earn enough money to support yourself. Thus, I urge you to spend an hour or more to help someone you know, who could use a push towards their dream.

This earth is our home and we all want humanity to thrive! One person has 20 million and the other pushed 200 people towards their dream, who was more successful at promoting humanity? Your choice!

Society Ω

How do you imagine the future?

For me, I envision a future in which society works in a united fashion to fuel progress. Although this dream might be naïve, I believe some areas can be improved, in order to move towards 'Society Ω'.

There is certainly controversy over how society can be improved; my opinion is that we must improve the way problems are approached, especially global ones, like increasing energy demands. We must learn that we all have to deal with the same problems and it’s in our best interest to work together to find solutions.

Throughout history we have improved our problem solving ways. However, I believe certain barriers exist that hinder progress. Here I mention a few and why I believe they hinder progress:

• Money is King: In many cultures, money trumps all other values.  We are taught by society that individual success is determined by wealth. This in turn causes people to be controlled by money. Two clear examples of how this has slowed progress are in medicine and technology. Profitability often determines which medicines should be developed and when technologies should be updated.
• Disconnect from Nature: Humans seem to have forgotten that we share this world with millions of other species. We use resources and other organisms with disregard to the consequences. How we use resources tends to be destructive to our surroundings and infrastructures dependent on finite resources (i.e. fossil fuels). Our ways also tend to kill off species that are key to our own survival (i.e. bees). In the long run, I believe this can damage our infrastructures and even lead to our demise.
• Split by Diversity: We all bleed red. So why do our differences still cause so much turmoil? It’s impossible to work together on solving problems if we can’t even respect each other. In the most extreme case, this ends up causing disputes, fights, and even wars. It can be argued that there are benefits to war, but are human causalities truly required to evoke progress? Imagine we were all clones and everyone had exactly the same thoughts. The chance of new ideas and inventions occurring in such a world are extremely slim. Our problems are diverse so it’s also beneficial that humans are diverse.

It’s important to remember that stating a problem is only a step in creating a solution. I plan to provide two services with this blog. First, I’ll share my life and travel experiences, to help enlighten others on various cultures, ethnicities and unique personal lifestyles. Secondly, I wish to voice my thoughts and ideas on solutions that can make this world a better place.

Let’s work together towards a 'Society Ω'!